


In the Swamp We Stay

by Felinis



Category: Tales of Vesperia
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Eldritch, Horror, Other, Post-Apocalypse, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:00:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23782753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Felinis/pseuds/Felinis
Summary: When he was a kid his Ma would say that the desert swamp was a punishment from the gods for disrespecting them and the earth they lived on. That because they stopped worshiping them as they should they would blight the world into hardships they couldn’t escape from. That piety keeps you safe in a world of monsters that swallow cities whole in a single night. Put faith in the Knight’s Clergy and pray to abstain the worst of the world’s evils. Feed the gods with praise and blood and you shall live longer than your blasphemous neighbor.
Relationships: Yuri Lowell & Flynn Scifo
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so this was originally gonna be my long fic for the Big Bang this year but life has a way of ruining everything and even though I knew I was probably capable of finishing by the time the deadline hit I knew that I wouldn't really have time so it's just been sitting on my computer almost done for a few months now and I need that kudos dopamine desperately and I legit can't type anymore new shit because my left hand is throbbing to hell and back because for me self harm is writing is writing till I reach this point. So enjoy whatever the fuck this be
> 
> I would also like u all to know the word doc this on is called: Taste the Sun and I have no idea why

Flynn always told him that going out to fish at night was the stupidest fucking thing he could do. “You don’t go out on the water at night, Yuri. That’s _their_ time. That’s when _they_ act. Ma always said to keep off the water when it’s dark not to mention the priest says it too. Ya gotta listen to a priest.”

Yuri had been getting that same lecture on and off for basically his whole life. It almost always came down to someone saying something about some priest and how fearing and respecting the gods was important yadda yadda. But he can’t say he’s really ever cared much what deities that likely do not exist think. Yeah, they have monsters. Creepy sentient slime full of eyeballs that must be burned off the settlements. The occasional rumor that a city just disappeared overnight. Occultist that will try to make off with you and perform some sort of blood sacrifice. All that crap.

But the important take away here was that if Yuri took into account how much awful shit went down in Zaphias and coupled religion in he’d never get anything done. It’s safe on the water at night.

Okay… it’s not really safe. You could barely see through it during the day and at night it reflected moonlight like a grime covered tin so a lamp was always needed but the light had to be dim otherwise something might decide the boat looked like a delicious meal instead of a bunch of scrap wood barely held together. It’s an awful little dingy but it’s the only thing his father left him besides his sword. That piece of junk has despite all his ill-luck managed to hold together and is essential for making it through the night.

Now, as for the why Yuri risked his life to fish at night it came down to a simple fact; he doesn’t have a license and he doesn’t have to hand over half his haul for mooring rights down at the docks for a canoe he can carry over his shoulders. Who the fuck wants to lose a days work because someone says he has to park a boat. No, he’s taking this back home and using it as makeshift seating till the next night like a rational person. It’s a good night tonight to be out on the water. Full Moon providing enough so he doesn’t have to turn on his lamp and it’s clear and cloudless letting him see every star dotting up that weird void they call a sky. It’s still and practically silent on the water despite the fact that Zaphias is only a short paddle away but that’s just how it always is.

The swamp is alive but it’s quiet with the only real thing once you get out away from the mud Zaphias is built on being the occasionally clusters of mangrove trees and reeds. Yuri doesn’t know why that’s the only thing really around but it is. He hears if you go out far enough the water gets clearer and turns blue instead of the muddy brown around here and there’s actual land people live on not just sand and silt you hope won’t wash away with the tide. That outside the desert swamp there is a world that’s paradise.

He’s heard of it. Heard and always been intrigued but he’ll never get to see it.

People get into the swamp they don’t come out. It just gets bigger and denser and weirder each year and that’s just how it is. When he was a kid a huge ship nearly the size of the town sailed in off the sea apparently to establish communication and trade with the swamp after nearly four years of radio silence. Each time they tried to leave they just ended up back at Zaphias till eventually they just stopped being able to and the ship ended up being torn apart and made into building material for houses and smaller ships more capable for the area.

The Captain on the boat looked him dead in the eye and told him this place was hell and he’s not wrong. Yuri can safely say this shithole is one of the worst places he could think to live but if he’s honest that is a very short list all considering. He really doesn’t know anywhere else.

He leaned back and waited for a bite on his line. He hadn’t been out long maybe a half hour at best. He’s not gonna be out for too long. He got to his boat late that night and if there is one thing Yuri genuinely thinks it’s important to follow it’s the not being offshore past midnight rule.

The water… the water just changed at midnight. People disappeared and didn’t come back. Monsters started climbing up from the surface. The dead started shambling through walls and things just got freaky as fuck. He’s not sure why but for some reason that shit doesn’t touch Zaphias. At least nothing major. Screaming apparitions were awful but the most they did was keep you from getting a good night’s sleep and they don’t appear in the town proper.

Flynn says that’s the idol in the Sword Stair tower and if he ever bothered to join the Knight’s Clergy like Ma wanted he’d know that. The idol keeps out the worst of it and as long as they worship that god, which Yuri cannot remember the name of for the life of him, they’ll be granted safety. Whether the praying actually works is debatable but since they fished it out of the swamp things have been safer. A lot safer. Safe enough that Hanks says they’ve been able to grow a community and even some complacency. He’s not really sure what the word means but Hanks assures him that it is a state of being for idiots.

Yuri tries not to be complacent.

A light tug comes on his line and Yuri sits up to start slowly pulling it in. Come on, give him something good. The line jerks and he quickly starts reeling it in setting the rod between his knees as he reaches for his sword just in case. Merman love to fuck with you and more than once he’s had his haul be a disappointment.

For being fucking fish men you’d think they’d be edible. It’s a big one. Nice. He reels it in faster and is happy to see a nice perch plop on the wood. He looks it over in case it’s got blight. Too many fish have blight these days.

“Only two eyes… no teeth… and you do not smell like petrol. Alright, you are certified quality.” Into the wicker basket of doom the fish goes! Yuri’s not sure why blight happens to everything in the swamp or why it’s gotten worse over the years but Hanks always yelled at any of them for even thinking of eating shit that had it. Said that humans who eat that turn into monsters and stuff.

“Krytians were human too before they started biting into the things in the swamp. You wanna be a Kryt? Because that’s what turns ‘em to Krtys.” Yeah no, Krytians were weird and culty with this habit of just staring at people like they knew some big dark secret so fuck that. Some of the Knights were Kryts and Flynn always talked about them with some distance. They kept to their own and they were so devote in their worship to a point of being unnerving. When he asked if the whole eating blight was true Flynn didn’t really have an answer.

Flynn just told Yuri to not talk with them which he was more than happy to comply with. He baited his hook with another grub and cast it out.

He did wonder what the hell was gonna happen when everything just started turning up blighted. Someone found it in the crops recently and a few kids were born last year with weird growth like horns and scales. People on the boat said that they didn’t have to deal with this shit outside the swamp. Said that monsters were things in stories but here in this place…

Hey, look at that another already. Nice, this is shaping up into a better haul than usual. Maybe he’ll end up with a decent total for a change. Don’t tell anyone but Yuri is shit at fishing. A breeze nips at his ears as he inspects his latest catch. Also good.

Howling can be heard in the distance and he briefly wonders if it’s from the trees or something else. He dims his lamp further till it’s almost nothing as he looks out in the distance at the mangrove trees that cluster around the edges of the area near Zaphias.

He dislikes the groves even more than he loathes the water. They looked so safe in comparison. In the groves, you felt like you could actually see the monsters lurking in the corners for a change but instead, they came from new places. Every corner became a hiding place for something awful and despite the resources and relics, researchers recovered the death toll for even the best groups was always high. The relic that kept Zaphias safe apparently came from there and Flynn said that one expedition they even found a temple of sorts but it’s practically untouched due to the risks. 

Staring out at the grove unnerved him as he pried his eyes away to focus down at the water. Whenever you look out it always felt like something staring back at you. If he focused to long he swore he could see it’s eyes hungrily glinting at him and despite his lack of superstition he ends up clutching the old amulet his Ma gave him that he wears for sentimental and traditional reasons.

Piety protects.

He’s heard those words more times than he can think to count and not just from her. Everyone in Zaphias seems to walk around with that idea in their head because as far as they’re concerned it works. Zaphias is alive and the city isn’t under attack. They have food and water and people aren’t resorting to cannibalism or any sort of madness that he hears happening in other settlements.

Piety keeps people safe.

When he was a kid his Ma would say that the desert swamp was a punishment from the gods for disrespecting them and the earth they lived on. That because they stopped worshiping them as they should they would blight the world into hardships they couldn’t escape from. That piety keeps you safe in a world of monsters that swallow cities whole in a single night. Put faith in the Knight’s Clergy and pray to abstain the worst of the world’s evils. Feed the gods with praise and blood and you shall live longer than your blasphemous neighbor.

Fuck that noise.

Yuri was rattled by the slight cawing of a bird overhead and he ducked down in case it wasn’t just a bird. It’s never just a bird. Stillness and silence as he shut off the lamp and kept his eyes pried. He listened for that telltale rustling they make and the squelch of their wet beaks making contact with anything.

It passed but to be safe he doesn’t turn the lantern on and slowly pushes the boat closer to shore. If he heard one there’s bound to be a few nearby. He hates things that travel in packs. He keeps a tight grip on his sword because unlike an amulet this thing is actually useful. Don’t get Yuri wrong, he’s sure all the work Flynn does matters but he doesn’t think it keeps you really safe. Not when it matters.

When he started his apprenticeship to join the Knights he was twelve and he went with his Ma out on an expedition into those trees to investigate some ruined magic tech. Yuri watched his mother be brutally torn in half as a demonic soul possessing a mangrove tore her apart with its branches by twisting her apart till she burst. All her insides and blood splattering- smacking- the ground and his cheeks the crushed organs writhing with some unexplained force like they wanted to crawl. He really can’t explain how the hell he made it back to the boat safely. She had been trying to chant the demon away. Chant. Of all the dumb shit methods of self-defense his mother chose to chant at an evil tree. Oh yeah, piety keeps ya safe. Fuck that logic!

He quit shortly after and went back to slumming around in the Lower Quarter doing odd jobs. Leave that shit to Flynn because Yuri didn’t want to deal with it. He didn’t run away. He just chose to not join a group that just shrugged at her death and called it inevitable while they kept safe in the city. His fingers curled into the wood of the oar he’s using to push along.

He drifted closer and closer back towards Zaphias keeping his eyes carefully pealed for any sign of movement. He’s been ambushed before and it’s not pleasant or anything he’d want to repeat if he can help it. If he sees another in the next few minutes, he’s booking the fuck back to moor. He hears the squawk of one of those birds in the distance and decides that is coming from way too close.

Time to head back.

He does steadily but swiftly till he can see the edge of Zaphias. There’s that itch in the back of his head that has him looking over the back of his shoulder thinking something will dive in and snatch him. That greasy feeling of a watchful eye but also the sense that something is about to go horribly wrong in a way you have no hope of controlling as your skin bristles.

The cawing of the birds gets louder along with the slight bubbling of what he hopes is just gas. It’s never just gas. He pushes till he’s at the port and grabs his boat out of the water looking back over his shoulder out into the dark night. He can still hear them in the distance but his eyes strain to catch a shadow despite the bright light of the moon shining along with the few scant street lamps.

_You’re being watched._

That little voice itches in the back of his head and Yuri forces himself forward. Do not look back at the madness. That is common sense.

His boots slowly cross over from the wooden unsteadiness of the dock to the uneven sandy cobbles that make up the road. There’s a relief once he’s off that shore and on real ground again. Something about knowing the ground while shifting and silt was firm and was unlikely in most cases to just jump out at you and try to kill you.

He winds his way past the fountain oasis and the turns leading to various alleyways and stacks of houses on top one another each more precarious than the last. Nobody wants to build out over the water if they can help it but that’s about the direction he lives in.

Yuri’s one of the lucky ones though. His home is near the edge where the Deep Slums and the Lower Quarter meet in that large ship that now sits beached on its side as a communal home the old Captain now more an innkeeper who mutters inanely to himself as he drinks endlessly. He’s halfway when something cracks with the speed of lightning and the boom of thunder. He struggles a second with the canoe the sound loud enough he almost drops it. Glancing up he tries to figure out what the fuck that was because the sound isn’t done he still hears crumbling and crashing.

He can’t make it out but there’s fire spreading lighting up the night and then he can see it in the illumination of the roofs blazing in the distance- the Sword Stair’s collapsed. The entirety the tower looks like it’s been split right down the middle screams howling from what has to be everyone in the upper levels crying in pain or for help. Anything possibly.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What the fuck! Fuck.

Okay.

Okay, this is happening.

The ground shakes and Yuri drops everything but his sword as he hears someone nearby warbling for help. When he turns the corner though he almost falls in a hole filled with needle teeth that’s opened up in the ground a man inside screaming as he tries to desperately get up despite his hands being pierced. Yuri backs up and thinks to reach to help the man inside but his cries of relief turn to anguish as the hole closes up just quick as it appeared.

Before Yuri can process the sudden disappearance, another scream comes from distance and another. He sees it squirming through the ground and Yuri decides to run before it comes for him.

He’s gotta tell Flynn. He knows how to deal with this shit. As stupid as it seems Yuri decides to run towards the fire and into danger because fuck his common sense and self-preservation.

The deeper he heads in the worse things look.

One of those gelatinous tentacle monsters that latch onto your head and suck organs out from the necks managed to also break-in as well. Scratch that he sees at least four. And how the fuck is everything just catching on fire?

Where is it all coming from? Ok. Not his main concern or should even be up there on his list but it is there.

Yuri ducks and weaves out of sight noting how varied all the monstrosities attacking are. He didn’t even think some of these were native to the region. A giant cylindrical leathery leg crashes through a house and Yuri notes the other three in the far distance

Shit.

What the fuck is a King Walker doing so close to a town? Aren’t those things supposed to be deep in the waters near Nordopolica? Yuri didn’t think he’d ever see one in his life but looking up the towering body that’s blocked out the sky he’s overwhelmed. He knew they were supposed to be big but this- it’s madness. Everything about this is madness. People running everywhere monsters popping from nowhere and fire. The smoke is overwhelming but he has to do something… Hell, what the fuck can he do? Yuri ducks into an alley he hopes will offer safety staring at the carnage.

He doesn’t think the Knights could handle this level of an emergency. The beacon over the town is broken. God… he didn’t think a beacon breaking would do this. The Knights never seemed to be worried about a simple breakage.

Like fuck this is simple.

He’s gotta find Flynn. If he’s alive… No, Flynn’s fine. This is fine. It’s fine. He can hear the evacuation bells tolling preaching for everyone to leave. Run! A head drops from the roof the skin shredded eyes gouged.

Don’t look up. Don’t look up. He fucking looked.

One of those jelly six-eyed head snatchers peering at him from over the edge chirping as it looked him dead in the eyes like he was the most delicious thing in the world. He brought his sword up and let the thing impale itself on that instead of his gray matter. The thing's arms lashing at him wildly pulling Yuri close as he desperately tried to force his sword out of this thing. He’s surprised when it comes loose spraying blood and whatever else that goop that fell on the road was before running further into the city avoiding anything he could that will most definitely try to eat him.

There’s gotta be a plan for this type of incident. Some big secret weapon of assurance the Knights have built for moments like this. A giant worm tears across the street in front of him spraying sand in his face blinding him for a moment.

The air just feels wrong. Slimy on his soul in a way that makes him feel he’ll come down suddenly with a cold any second as his feet jump over the overturned pieces of buildings and roads. He’ll make it. He’ll make it.

Why the hell is he not heading to the evacuation center? Why the hell is he like an idiot heading further into this? Flynn has to know what’s happening here. Why the sword stair is collapsed and what they plan to do. Just… there has to be answers.

He continues to weave past the monsters noting that among the corpses he’s seen plenty of Knights are littered in the masses. The relief he gets with the constant sign it’s not Flynn is undeniably helping to motivate him. The shape of the body is either wrong or the face is whole enough for him to tell thankfully.

Flynn is fine.

If Yuri pretends they’re fine then he can keep moving. Just ignore logic for a bit. It doesn’t help that he has no idea what he’s even going to do when he finds him because he didn’t think this through. The air has turned smokey and full of ash throwing him into coughing fits. It’s getting harder to see and he knows he can’t head straight in- that’s suicide- more importantly there’s no guarantee. He just keeps looking and calling till finally he hears wheezing and coughing.

“I promise we’ll be safe soon the docks aren’t far.” He recognizes that one instantly and runs till he practically crashes into Flynn who pulls a sword on him before lighting up in relief. There’s a person wrapped in robes on the ground beside him. He sheathes and quickly picks the person up and slings them lightly over his shoulders. “Yuri! What are you still doing here?”

“Looking to see if I can help you.”

“You can’t! Didn’t you hear the bell?” He can’t tell if Flynn looks more relieved or pissed.

“Yes, and I ignored it.” Against all better judgment. “Flynn, what the hell is happening here?”

Flynn swallows and looks to the person he’s carrying noting the face is hidden under a mask, “I- There’s not enough time just Zaphias is going to sink and you need to get out of here. Now!” He takes the hint to move.

He doesn’t like how Flynn’s face is set and how when they start moving he’s lagging behind. He doesn’t like that Flynn seems to know exactly what’s happening or why he’s giving him such an odd look. Till he just stops after only a few minutes.

“Flynn?”

He lifts the person of his shoulders and given the size it’s not hard to guess it’s a girl but he shifts to cradling her before setting her down on the floor against a broken wall. “Go ahead. I need to look for any stragglers.”

“Let’s just get her to the boats and do this together.”

“No!” It’s stern and hard like when he’s about to get a lecture but also he senses fear and something he can’t place, “Yuri, please keep her safe for me. I can’t tell you why but I’m not leaving with the main evacuation team.”

“Bullshit! Tell me.”

“I _can’t._ ” Flynn hisses and removes the band on his wrist slapping into onto Yuri’s before he can protest. “Take her and this and get on that boat before it’s too late.”

“No! No! I’m not leaving you behind.” Yuri tries to pry the band off but the lock is complicated and won’t budge. “What the fuck is this? You can’t give me this! Who the fuck is she?”

He just gets a smile, there’s blood dripping from the wrist the band was one, “She has my radio on her and I’ll message you in the next twenty-four hours. Just please go.”

“And I said not without you.”

“Yuri, fucking listen to me for once and just go. I can’t tell you what happened or what’s going on just that you’ll die if you stay here. Get the fuck on the evacuation ship and guard her from everyone knights included! Guard her even if it costs your life.”

Why? Why this? Why is Flynn entrusting him with this? He’s not… This isn’t…

Any time to argue is broken by a scream as a ghoulish monster creaks from around the corner, “Take her and run.” Yuri doesn’t get a say as Flynn is screaming and luring it away leaving him to stare at the body slumped against the wall. Yuri quickly grabs her and throws her over his shoulders. She’s completely unconscious. What’s so important about a priestess?

_Scrreeeeeeeeeeeeeee_

He needs to make it to the docks.

It crowded when he gets there with people screaming and shoving to get on the boat and he’s not sure how he makes it on board as the knights desperately try to keep order but fail under the chaos. The boats aren’t that large, and the fleet isn’t that big, and he sees the people get left behind. The priestess in his arms never stirring as Zaphias burns to the ground in the distance. His home fading from view barely lit by the fire.

They only let humans onboard. Pure humans. Nothing blighted and all pure. He wonders if screaming on the shore those were the people left behind. Flynn… Flynn’s not blighted. No something else has to be going on. Something important. It better be important.

At last, the priestess stirs, the featureless mask keeping everything secret as she looks up at him and at the boat. To the dark sky as the fleet moves through the water. “Where… who are you?”

“Yuri.”

She seems to perk up at his name like she knows it, “Flynn, where is he?”

He shakes his head, “He- he stayed behind.” Yuri swallows because a little voice in the back of his head is screaming that he’s probably dead. Or will be.

She looks down at his wrist solemnly noting the bracelet with the runes and jewels embedded as eyes and various pieces for the monsters and gods it represented in the scrolling patterns. She’s a priestess so she must know what this was. What it meant. “What’s your name?”

Tension riddles in her shoulders and she looks around cautiously edging closer to him. They’re pressed against the bulwarks under a thin blanket the crew passed around with everyone else. It’s crowded and the air is always freezing at night which is why he always fished with layers on but most of the people weren’t as lucky so he’d given his coat to a family with two children that were all dressed in thin pajamas. Their lips were practically blue and while Yuri was cold, he could handle it better than them.

Nobody can sleep. The air is full of the terrifying noises of the swamp in motion and the ever-present knowledge that it just takes one monster rising out from under them for things to turn awry. That without a beacon those threats they could avoid are there again to haunt and kill.

She looks at the crowd and then to him whispering, “My name is Estelle.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't know if I actually know how to write horror or if I just type a lot of splashy blood gore

Morning takes forever to come and he doesn’t sleep much even when he tries to be patient for its arrival. He’s restless and can’t help but be cautious throughout it all. How the fuck is Estelle able to sleep in all this? Yuri would like the ability to fucking do that please and thank you.

The mask is still fixed firmly to her face and he wonders what’s up with that as well. He knows it’s part of the uniform Yuri’s Ma wore it all the time but the mask wasn’t required and most the time you were expected to take it off outside of prayers and missions. Speaking of Flynn better message him or Yuri will somehow manage to make his life hell. He’s not sure how and if Flynn is dead it’ll be fairly difficult but he’ll manage and he won’t feel sorry.

He goes to one of the knights standing at the bow looking out into the water the dawn light has barely broken through and the poor guy on looks like he’s been rung out to dry. “Hey, I don’t mean to bother but where are we heading now that Zaphias is you know- gone?”

“I’m not sure on the details but we’re going to be trading these out for sand schooners and heading into the inner desert out of the swamp.” The knight clicks his tongue and sighs, “It’s risky but the nearest settlement is gonna be the oasis. Baring nothing happens.”

“Will any of the people who were left behind make it?”

“Hard to say.”

Which is a way of saying no. Given the tiredness the dejected stance and the way he’s looking at the muddy water like it’s the last bastion of hope before it all turns to literal sand in their mouth Yuri wonders if he thinks they’ll die trying to reach there as well. He’s not sure if he should ask what happened or if that will net him anything in the end. Feels like the kind of thing they’ll announce because if not people on the ship will riot and panic. “Is she a relative?”

“Who?”

“The Sister,” He points at Estelle who’s still curled up on the floor asleep. “I was surprised to see one all things considered.” Right… any priestess would have been at the Staircase normally and been crushed in the fall.

Yuri shrugs and gives a laugh, “Yeah, my cousin is a bit of a troublemaker for the Clergy. She snuck out that night to play hooky. Guess we’re very lucky.”

“Extremely.”

He waves and goes back to sitting not a lot of other people are awake but enough and they keep glancing at the two of them likely thinking something similar about the oddity of Estelle. He can’t blame them. Yuri is confused and also hungry. God, he could go for some dried meat or some water. Just anything.

A nudge to Estelle’s side hoping she’ll wake up for longer than a few minutes. Last night she fell asleep almost a second after she said her name and that she was a friend of Flynn’s. He keeps poking and prodding with no reaction. He’s never met anyone who could sleep this soundly with everything going on around them. “Geez, I’m not watching your unconscious body for the rest of this trip.”

In response, she curls up next to him snugging his side. It’s a lot of waiting and sitting and hoping that Flynn will finally radio him. Just something. Fucking something. Anything. Waiting is awful and given that it’s full and cramped below they’re both stuck on top in the soon to be baking sun. The nights are bitter and cold hear with a humidity that sticks in your skin making everything clammy but the heat was the worst. During the day it turned sweltering and sticky leaving anyone outside craving shade and freshwater. The layers that kept you warm at night became an enemy and you were left trying to wear enough to keep the bugs from biting every inch of your skin and so little you could keep cool. It was hell and it was worse on the water.

So much worse. At least the city had systems in places to help try to keep people cool while they worked. During the day one of the most important jobs was to work on making sure the supports for the city were fine and to clear any minor infestation of monsters that got in. Working the field was important and harvesting and cleaning water was vital but those jobs weren’t his primary thing. For the most part, it was monster hunting and construction work because even if most of the experience had been bullshit Yuri was to the Knights Clergy good fodder for keeping their structures in order and the money was good.

And he was good at it.

What can Yuri say, he’s just really good at killing shit and hammering in nails into the underside of the city or occasionally helping to repaint and chisel runes along the city structures. That one happens less and is more something they give to people like him when they realize most of the actual Clergy members have better things to do than to literally watch paint dry. That job is actually his least favorite of anything Yuri does for pay around Zaphias despite the fact it is the one where his life is in the least amount of danger.

Just try to meticulously paint a wall-sized mural of a symbol from a piece of paper and watch it dry completely because the paint must be observed for the runes to take hold or some shit like that. Seems like absolute bullshit so some of these Clergy guys can have an excuse to sit around and do nothing for a few hours if you ask him.

Oh yes, if Yuri doesn’t stare at this wall for ten minutes the world will end. Yeah, right! Fucking bullshit.

The other Knights are finally moving around on deck and dry rations are being passed around. It’s just hardtack which Yuri knows for a fact tastes awful but it’s food. Estelle is still not awake and he pockets her food for later. How long is she going to sleep?

It’s only about ten in the morning if their luck and Yuri’s bored out of his mind enough that he’s considering watching paint as he chews on the tack. It’s awful. It’s always awful. It’s waiting. More waiting. The sun hotter on skin. Shedding another layer of clothing. Waiting. Waiting. And fucking waiting as the boat drifts through open water and distant groves. Clumps of reeds that look safe but immediately scream that there is something below.

That none of this is safe and they better hope they get to those schooners in less than a few days because while they were lucky escaping the next night it won’t be like that. Worse the one after. By the third, they will be lucky to make it there in one piece.

And that’s depending on if there really is a destination. There isn’t always one and he’s heard enough stories growing up to know that the well they’re running to could turn out to be dry. How’s that old saying go ‘Devil ya know beats a Devil ya don’t’ and frankly he’d rather live on the water than in the sand once the swamp breaks away to a dry hellscape where water becomes the currency and worms will just pop out and eat people.

But he also understands that the nearest settlement beyond Zaphias further into the swamplands is deadly in a way that promises that a fleet of boats could never make it. When traders make it past Deidon Hold and into Halure they only travel in the smallest fastest ships they can muster. Halure is through the groves and while the city is bountiful and safe the path to make it in is dangerous enough that the days it is considered safe to travel back and forth are limited and few. It’s why the fruit they bring back is hoarded by nobles so fervently. So much that despite his efforts Yuri hasn’t ever gotten to try a beautyberry but they look delicious and juicy.

A lot of crops only grow in Halure for whatever reason and also the wildlife surrounding the huge mangrove the entire city is built around is safe year-round from attacks letting the people their build a thriving community that from what he’s briefly overheard really gets by on trading their dried fruits, jellies, jams, and crops of all kinds. Just because Halure is safe doesn’t mean the passage is. It’s one of those places that seems ideal to move to but you probably won’t make it in and if you do it’s because you are extremely lucky and prepared a shit ton for your own death.

There’s whispering among the officers and he pokes Estelle one more time and to his surprise, she shoots up. “Yes, I’m awake!”

Yuri can’t help snorting. Like a kid getting caught taking from the cookie jar. “You sure sleep soundly, Sister.”

An awkward chuckle as she laughs and scratches her at her cheek. With the featureless mask it looks a bit weird but he gets the idea, “It’s a bad habit of mine. I almost slept through everything last night. I hope it wasn’t a burden on Flynn…”

“Yeah about that, can I get some answers,” Yuri could really use some answers.

“It… it depends.” Her hands fidget in her lap nervously.

“Because for some reason you can’t say.”

A nod.

“So if I ask something and you can’t answer you’ll stay silent.”

Nod.

“Your name is Estelle, right? Are you a priestess?”

Silence.

“Okay, did you work with Flynn? What did you do?”

A nod. “I can’t say.”

“Are you his friend?”

She pauses a moment and then nods.

“Will you take off that mask?”

“I’m not supposed to.”

He quirks a brow, “Why?”

“I… I’m supposed to remain covered. I have to.”

Well, that raises all sorts of flags and he wonders what sort of identity would have her covered up in cloth from head to toe. Even her hands are wrapped, and the robes of the priestesses are large and cumbersome making walking hard. “Flynn tell you to do that?”

She tenses up, “He… he’s not the first to say. But he told me that from here on I should make sure not to slip up like before.”

“Do you know why Zaphias fell?”

Nothing leaves her lips but he feels like he can hear her eyes pop open and every muscle tense up. “Does Flynn know why?” She’s shaking. “Was it a cult attack?” Shivering. “Do they know?”

She puts a finger to his mouth. “You mustn’t break the rules.”

“Those being?”

He feels like he can feel a smile soft and secret on her lips as she stares at him. “I can’t say. That’s part of the rules.”

Oh, she’s one of _those_ priestesses. The bullshit riddles and cryptic one-liners kind because some people think the riddles keep you safe by hiding oneself in confusing words and phrasing. “Well, are there rules you can say regarding this.” He holds up the hand with the bracelet Flynn gave him.

“He really trusts you.” She wisps guiding her fingers along the band and its patterns.

Of course, Flynn trusted him and Yuri the same. He couldn’t imagine not trusting and putting his faith in Flynn. They grew up together in the same house with his Ma an old family friend. His father died before he was born but Norien always had stories about both his parents in spades. They were brothers and when his Ma died they took him in and after a time Flynn’s father died on an expedition as well and then one day Flynn’s mother… it was hard to say what happened but it wasn’t pretty. Yuri wished it had just been a disease that done her in but it was something unknown and unnatural. Something that didn’t care about the rules or logic in this world.

She died locked away in a room with no windows or light screaming. That’s all he knows. That’s all Flynn would tell him once the Clergy took her away and when he pried further he just started sobbing and shaking saying she was never coming back. After that, it was just the two of them and that was good for Yuri.

_“If we get high enough then we can change the Knight’s Clergy and change this world! We can fight back against it all!”_

When you’re a kid things seem so much more simple. When you’re a kid you think somehow you’ll fix whatever the hell went wrong with the world and make a place where people can just live. Then reality settles and Yuri can safely say that people are living in a hell on earth struggling in a space that does not care if you live or die. If humanity survives or even how. Humanity is plugging holes with methods that can barely function and no solutions as the ship they’re all in sinks below the cattails and caught in the roots below.

If gods are real and if this spiritual stuff is valid then any god they have should have left them long ago or doesn’t care what they think in the first place.

Long story short, “Yeah we do. He said you have his radio.”

“Oh! Yes,” She fishes through her robes and pulls out a small handheld radio that has seen much better days. “In case we got separated he wanted me to have it.”

“When did he say he’d contact you?”

“I don’t know.”

“When do you think he will?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you have any idea what I should do to help you or what is going on?”

“Yes, but I’m not supposed to say.” Yuri wants to bang his head on the wall.

He takes a deep breath and looks across the way towards the water swearing he sees something large moving under them. “Look, I understand part of the whole Clergy thing is absurd levels of secrecy and half-truths or whatever but I am a simple person and would like to actually have an answer or an idea so I’m not left speculating what has happened in the past twenty-four hours. Can you just be straight with me for ten minutes?”

“I’m not trying to be mean there’s simply a lot I’m not able to say.”

It’s sincere enough that it’s hard to be mad at her. Yuri sighs and hands over her portion of the hardtack breakfast, “Here. For you.”

She tilts her head holding it in her hand, “What is it?”

“Hardtack.” She stares at it for a bit, “It’s food. Not good food but food.”

Estelle taps at the surface of tack rotating it in her hand. She doesn’t eat it and the further he tries to pry the more he hears the phrase, “Can’t say” for what is now teetering on fifteen minutes before he finally huffs in frustration.

“Are you ever gonna eat that?”

“Should I?” Yuri blinked aggressively.

“Yes. Starvation is unpleasant and whatever life you had before is gone and what’s left may be soon if you don’t eat when you can.”

He can practically hear the gears turning in her head as she looks at her tack before holding it out to him, “I don’t need it. You can have it.”

“Just because you don’t feel hungry now doesn’t mean you won’t feel it later.” Yuri shoved it back.

“I… I’ll eat it in a bit.” She slipped it back into the confines of her clothes.

A call from the captain of the ship for everyone to gather round and listen as they inform them what’s going to happen and what to expect from here on out. The obvious fact that Zaphias is gone but more importantly that they’re going to be making their way to Mantaic which had promised to offer relief in events such as these and then depending on certain factors they would help to get settled wherever they could. Sounded nice but Yuri understood that those certain factors were to do with wealth and station. Food was going to be strictly rationed around depending on who needed it, which made him sneer because everyone understood it to be the knights and the nobles eating the most, and they’d ask people to do what they could around the ships. Keep order, help navigate, maintenance, cook, all that jazz.

It strikes him that they don’t mention how long this will take or the safety measures they’re planning for. Like there hadn’t been a real plan for such an event. He does get one thing that confirms a suspicion Yuri had been thinking since he heard that boom in the night. It was a deliberate attack. This wasn’t some rogue entity that just crashed into the staircase in the night. It couldn’t be with all the monsters that flooded in. That they were asking if anyone had what they thought was useful information and to approach. That if they knew anything- anything- to tell them.

For now, they were free to do whatever and if they wanted to help then to go about asking and signing up. Get scheduled ahead and Yuri went for kitchen work quickly because he understood from how everyone was talking this was going to boil down to survival very soon. Kitchen work meant you could get scraps and it’s not greedy to claim that job it’s just smart.

Yuri’s spent too many nights worried where his next meal was coming from because a drought hit or work dried up or something else of the more hellish monstrocious nature had struck to think that this wouldn’t end up like those other times. He’s gonna go hungry if he doesn’t act quickly.

Not to mention… she doesn’t seem to be listening instead staring out onto the water. He’s going to have to figure out something with her. When is Flynn going to radio? When is shit gonna start making any sense around here?

But today… or at least at the moment, he doesn’t get to. It’s busy and he’s moving around helping where he can and trying to hear any form of an answer and gather resources.

Survive. Yuri wants to survive and if it means being below deck trusting Estelle to stay alive helping them ration out food and talk about things they may do to obtain extra supplies before they enter the desert proper than he’ll do it. There’s a lot he’s willing to do.

_Blood- the taste of iron on his lips- he screamed and watched it all splatter and slosh in front of him and his legs shook. He was going to die- It was going to grab him and split him like her down the middle and nobody was going to come._

_I’m going to die! I’m going to die!_

_I’M GOING TO DIE_

He fucking cut the tip of his thumb peeling potatoes. What is he five? It’s finally time for him to go rest and do whatever according to the knights after a time. When he heads up she’s still sitting there looking out unmoving like a statue. You’d think it true given how she moves.

“They say if you stare too long, you’ll fall into madness.” He sits up next to her again fidgeting in boredom. There really isn’t a lot for anyone to do on these boats even if you work till near sunset.

“I’ve never actually seen the swamp. I didn’t think it would be this beautiful.”

“You’ve been staring too long at the water.”

“I know you can’t see it but given how harsh everything always sounded I didn’t think there was life outside of abominations and humans in this swamp. Not like this. There are even gnats!”

Yuri blanched, “Who the fuck likes gnats?”

“Are we not supposed to?”

“Are you that rich or just never left the Sword Staircase? Not even for fresh air.”

She seems to ponder her answer before clutching her chin and bobbing back and forth, “Hmm I guess it’s safe to say both.”

That sounds about the right level of cryptic. “Instead of telling me half-formed sentences about what happened can you tell me about yourself.”

“Like what?”

“For starters what’s do you do for fun?”

It’s hard to tell but he feels like she lit up at the question. “Reading! I love to read.”

* * *

After a few hours, he thinks he’s starting to understand Estelle and what kind of person she is. Kind for one. Her words are never malicious on purpose and she clearly loves to read and spent many hours poured over books in the Staircase library reading every book they had till Flynn started sneaking some in. She’d never left the Staircase and was raised there for as long as she could remember and met Flynn a few years ago. She didn’t know about a fair amount of anything as far as the actual state of the world. Just rumors and words written in ink.

She spoke fondly of Flynn and what a good friend he was. How she was worried. That she was sadly short on friends in the Staircase. Flynn also talked about him a lot because she knew his name and a lot about himself. A little weird but he can’t blame Flynn for just talking about him. He probably comes up in a lot of stories.

Overall, he enjoys her.

Come dinner time she doesn’t eat. No, Estelle stares at the bowl in her hands as the steam slowly fades from the gruel moving it around in a motion to hide the obvious. Yuri rolls his eyes because it was fairly obvious since she never took off the mask. It wasn’t wasted though and made it way to a family that found their kid was still hungry. The sun set and mid-conversation she collapsed and fell asleep like a switch snapped in her brain.

Yuri keeps fidgeting with the radio looking at the water as the fading rays of sun bounce off it; at the innocent sounds of the day broke into disturbed groaning and bubbling below. Last night had been calm for everything that had happened but tonight it was safe to say that that things would be getting dangerous with all the room below taken and the open air colder than before.

They hear the monsters all through the night and at one point the boat rocks leaving everyone board to see the massive creature below them slither and jostle. It’s a lot of waiting. A lot of dreading. You can see it all in the distance staring at them but not approaching. Just watching and waiting like there’s something they can’t see but the monsters can.

Those red eyes staring back from the groves.

Morning comes somehow unscathed and the next one as well. Luck is too strong with them to hold and Flynn has never messaged them. And somehow the thing that’s bothering him the most right now is that Estelle doesn’t eat.

Or at least he never sees it and he wonders if that’s the point. The mask and wrappings have stayed tight and her secrets are held close the longer he tries to pry. His eyes drift to the band on his wrist.

He’s dead. Flynn has got to be dead. He wouldn’t have given him this otherwise. Yuri tucks the necklace further under his shirt. People look at you funny when you wear too many marks and you’re not with the Knights and he can’t figure out the lock yet.

You need to press the runes and gems in a certain order but he’s not sure on the combination. Flynn’s never taken it off around him and frankly, he never thought he would be given one with everything it meant. It was the only thing they recovered from Finnath’s corpse. Not even a body to be fished it out alongside it when it washed into the farmlands and they realized what it was.

A mark of protection.

Every household has one usually. It’s one of the few traditions even nobility respects due to the heavy superstitions surrounding it. If you take another’s mark the family will suffer ill will and blight or something of the like. It’s very generic threats but enough people have had bad shit happen that it’s a respected rule.

You can tell how far back the family goes in this place by their mark and the quality of it. The older the more intricate the design the better the quality. His Ma’s family only went back two generations and his father had sailed in with next to nothing on accident so his looked like shit in comparison.

Of course, they don’t really do anything. It’s superstition of the highest order in his experience. Still, when people give you something like this…

Mourning is not something he wants to do or has time for. He just wished he at least got static when he turned the thing on and called out at night. At least other people aboard have made the most out of a shit situation and have made things to occupy themselves other than work. There’s nothing loud though. No noise attracts the wrong attention, so they make themselves small and silent as they occupy their time.

Yuri can’t blame them.

It’s the fourth day and Estelle is still staring out at the water as she’s done almost every other day, “Tonight you’d do well to ask for protection.”

“Oh, and to whom of the many should I pray to?” Yuri rolls his eyes because tonight is the next moon phase and priestess always get paranoid on that matter. Every few days Ma would come home and change out the incense she burned just because of a shift like this and he would roll his eyes because nothing ever happened.

“Undine.”

He doesn’t know that one. “Is… he new?”

“No. She’s the oldest god of water.”

“Older than the Leviathan?”

“The Leviathan only holds domain in the swamp Undine lives in all the water.”

“Do you really believe in all that crap?” That prayers work and gods are real beyond what magic they’ve scrounged from ruins and learned to replicate. “Like any of it?”

“What else am I supposed to believe?”

Yuri runs a hand through his hair. “No- like- do you think… do you think anything they do in the Clergy actually works?”

Estelle leans a bit over the bulwark out at the shores. “If it didn’t, you’d already be dead. You must see that.”

A roll of his eyes as he tries to follow what he thinks is her sightline. There’s nothing around them now except for water now that they’ve been traveling long enough for the swamp to turn into open water before it crashes on the desert. Any land will be sparse and the loosest of mud even if they do find it.

“Not really. I’ve survived on wit and dumb luck respectively not because I pray,” Yuri chuckled.

“I meant Zaphias itself.” Estelle’s hands clenched into tight fists, “Zaphias was never supposed to fall but it had let blight in and more importantly, they started to change their prayers to the beacon.”

That actually was strange.

The beacon… the beacon kept everything safe and in order. Any city that ended on a map had a beacon and had rituals and proceeding thought sacred to keep them working. It seemed to him more like a maintenance proceeding to keep the found magic tech in order but you still didn’t fiddle with that shit. The last thing a city needed was a failing beacon.

“Why?” Why did they let the city fall from this? Why hadn’t she said that sooner or was there more to this like there always is with these kinds of tales?

“Because when people know the rules, they break them.”

They call for Estelle and ask her as one of the remaining Sisters to do blessings and prayers on the boat. Apparently, a handful survived the attack and they were using them around the boats to keep up moral.

People are always comforted at the sight of a holy woman.

Yuri clicks the radio on watching the people gather to pray with Estelle, “Flynn… if you’re out there- if you’re alive- please just say something.”

* * *

_Blood dribbled from his chin to the floor as he griped his arm to keep it in place. He needed help. He needed to make it to the boat. Someone is going to come save him from this._

_Lies_

_But he’s going to make it. Survive! That’s what you do here in this place and even if he can’t feel his legs anymore- even if his eyesight is blurring, he’s going to make it._

_“I have to keep moving.” Ragged shallow breathes. “I’m not gonna die here.”_

_I’M not GOING TO DIE_


	3. Chapter 3

He’s not sure how to explain it but something is wrong with the air that night. Just a dread lingering over everyone as Yuri stares at everyone eating dinner. He’s not hungry. He needs the food but he’s not hungry and he can’t bring himself to take a bite.

There’s just… a feeling.

Estelle is surprisingly awake even though he’s used to seeing her drop the moment sunset hits like a stone. How does anyone sleep that much and that precisely? It has to be some sort of temple training they do now.

She hasn’t stopped staring at the sky like she’s waiting for something. “Your neck’s gonna get sore if you keep doing that.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ve stayed still for much longer and in much worse positions.” There’s little doubt in her statement but there’s also the question of why anyone would do that to themselves or let others do so to them.

Estelle while sweet and pleasant is very odd and confusing to a frustrating degree and he wishes she wasn’t. Yuri sets aside his bowl and tells her he’s going to walk around a bit. It feels safer if she knows what he’s up to.

Flynn wanted him to protect her and while he doesn’t fully understand it he knows Flynn wouldn’t do something like this over nothing. She doesn’t eat, is cryptic, and refuses to be seen. If it wasn’t for that first one he’d guess she’s a Krytian. For all, he knows she is and somehow they’ve learned not to eat.

Looking over the bow of the ship at the endless water overwhelming when he actually looks. There’s nothing but water around them. Water. Water. And water.

Yuri’s never thought about how much scenery surrounded them before. The reeds, grass, groves, soil, sand, and every little insect floating on the water ready to buzz in his face are gone. It’s just water and the other four boats that they fled with for miles and miles and they rock back and forth.

The water is deep here. Deep enough that the hulls of the boats can be large and wide rather than the somewhat narrow ships they’re in now. Deep enough he’ll never be able to reach the bottom. Drowning here- falling in- the boat crushing him aside he’d die if he tried to tread this for too long even without the monsters that live below.

So quiet and cold. He got his coat back, but the air has gotten dryer and chilled as they’ve traveled.

He never thought he’d miss the groves that disturb him so much. Open water is just so unnerving once you’re on it. There’s got to be things below them that see the ships passing above thinking they’re a tasty snack. Has to be a large monster writhing below the waves stalking them as they travel. The boat isn’t that large walking the whole perimeter takes maybe twenty minutes if he’s being leisurely about the thing; Yuri does it in thirty.

A sizeable gust sweeps past as he stands at the stern pushing at the sails. Nothing behind them except another ship and open water the color of ash. Makes you almost glad that it’s near impossible to see through. Imagine being able to see everything underneath moving about.

Absolute nightmare right there for ya.

His eyes narrow in their starring as a waft of rottenness hits his nose. It smells spoiled and old; strong enough he starts to cough and tries to find the source. Rotten… So rotten. He slips as he starts to head down and looks at a yellowish-brown ooze that’s stuck to the floorboards. It reminds him of an algae you see growing on the underside of the city during the summer. Harmless if not smelly on its own you can even eat if you’re that hungry still…

What the fuck is it doing all the way out here?

Snap. Crack. The sound of something wet tore and slapped against the boat knocking him off his feet. There’s a scream as the boat is suddenly tilting.

He gets up and looks as he sees multiple refugees bodies ballooning and oozing and as sores start sprouting over their skin. A fowl gas seeping out along with that familiar color.

Fuck.

Fuck.

He desperately pats around his skin as more people start to swell and putrefy. Cracking of bones and as they push out of these sores… Reaching and grabbing at people with elongated necks and tentacles and biting deep into soft flesh.

If you’re hungry enough you’ll eat anything.

Shit.

Yuri jumped around the deck screaming for Estelle as he pulled his sword out. “What the fuck are you doing standing around for?!”

He sliced at the tentacle lunging at him. It wiggled and writhed as the creature stretched it’s body out reattaching it. Why the fuck is she still just looking up at the sky in a time like this. The weight of these monsters is capsizing the boat and Yuri is not in the mood to be caught under the ship struggling to get to the surface.

Knights are lashing swords and chanting at the monsters as the other people scream and run like rats in a panic as they try not to be eaten. Yuri grabs Estelle by the arm and he wishes she would take off the fucking mask already so that he knew what she was thinking. Did she know this was going to happen?

Some of the people are already jumping ship swimming rapidly as they can towards the other ships and Yuri sees that at least one of them has been lit on fire. A lot of their solutions for killing things involved fire. The boat tilts further and the boards break under the weight.

Jump in the water and hope for the best? Swim to another ship? Somehow kill the monsters that just juiced a knight like a lemon? Fuck? FUCK! FUCK!

A shadow passes overhead and along with a screech he recognizes as the sound of something large and not a bird. It looks like a bird but it’s more like an embodiment of everything people hate about birds and also it’s made of teeth and eyeballs.

“Yuri, we need to jump.” Estelle pulls at his arm pointing to the water. It’s not like they really have any better options as the wood cracks and the bird demon of hell dives down to strike.

“I hope you can swim.”

The water is frigid and it always stings a little on the open pores of your skin. Out of the way of the collapsing ship that’s breaking- fracturing- the waves of monster falling into the water. Yuri drags Estelle as they swim and struggle to get farther away to another ship. They duck under as that bird dives at them.

It’s hard to move Estelle’s layers dragging them down and as she tried to swim but merely seemed to splash erratically. He tells her to just grab onto him but she’s too panicked and all he can do is keep holding her and move before she drags him down with her.

Whatever things those people are now can float and they’re coming them fast so Yuri ends up tossing a piece of driftwood at them to hopefully distract them. Another dive from that bird and this time he sees there are four of them. When he gets up he’s gratefully to see a few have gone for the blobs and are picking them apart ravenously.

For fuck's sake, somehow- someway- let them get out of this thing alive!

A huge wave from out of nowhere rose from the side as a long soot-colored serpentine neck rose out of the water and started attacking the birds crashing into the two of them and tossing them about the water. The thrashing and movement of the waves knocked them about and under and one instance Yuri panicked as his chest crashed with hard and long muscle realizing that this was part of this snake’s body.

They were thrashing and dragging them everywhere with no way to see as they swam. Nowhere to go. Nothing to do but pray they could tread and not get killed in what was happening.

Her hands were crushing his and Yuri didn’t even care that at this point he’d dropped his sword. He just wanted to live but that didn’t seem likely. They were gonna fucking die! Either that snake ate them or they’d drown as he watched the rest of its body rise and capsize a few of the other ships.

Struggling.

Gasping!

Pushing through the water!

Bashed about.

Ducking

Gasping!

Gasping!

Slammed back and forth.

Crash

Crash

Crash

CRASH!

**CRASH!**

Air bubbled out his lungs and the surface that he struggled to see already grew dimmer and dimmer his hands blurry.

Bubbles drifting up.

Being tossed and thrown like a doll as it all turns from black to pitch to nothing. For the love of whatever god that’s out there please let it be quick.

* * *

Sand.

Yuri struggled to open his eyes and coughed weakly. The world was a blur but the silt and sand he could feel under his body along with water somewhere around his lower calves. He hacked up more water and despite feeling half-drowned his throat was dry tasted of grit and there was a pretty strong reason why.

Every breath made his head throb as he looked around trying to figure out what the fuck happened. Shakily he stood up and looked around.

Water. Pure water.

It’s a sandbar. By some fucking miracle, they had crashed into a sandbar the bright sun overhead shining into his eyes. Shit- that’s too bright. Nothing feels broken as he moves, sore and bruised to fuck but it all seems intact aside from a cut on his head that’s caked in sand and stinging from the water.

He pats his pockets and everything else the radio is still there. Waterlogged and probably trashed to shit now and while his sword is gone, he still has the pocketknife he keeps on hand in his trousers.

Estelle… Fuck where is Estelle? He sees the robes in the distance and finds her unconscious and splayed out on the sand like a broken doll with joints bent unnaturally. Fuck! If she’s not dead her bones are broken to hell and back. He lifts her on the side and looks for the clasp for the mask that should be on the back and pries at the knobs and latches till it finally snaps open and he tosses it aside and he finally gets why she wouldn’t take it off.

He starts to fiddle at the wrappings on her arms and neck to prove his suspicions and he whistles not quite believing it. He’s heard stories but… wow. It all kinda makes sense why Flynn was so worried about her safety. Why you would risk so much to keep one priestess safe in a crisis. Why he’s somehow not dead.

A magic tech doll. A real magic tech doll like the ones you heard in stories.

The beacon itself.

His hands run over the surface of her face unable to resist his curiosity. It’s just like porcelain and the features are so cleverly ornate in their gold patterning and carving. The joints of her hands loose enough to pull yet firm enough they hold under his grip. Her hair is an unnaturally bright and soft pink that feels like strands of silk and just- he really can’t believe it.

He thought these were either all broken and gone or a myth made up by dreaming townies. Never real. Not in this sense. Never whole. He presses down on what he thought was a necklace but is a circular crest embedded in the center of her chest hearing the turning and sparking inside as she rattles and shoots up gasping for breath as water gushed out her body in an unpleasant stream.

Wheezing over and over before she looks at him and screams covering her face. “No!”

Estelle curls into a ball but one of her eyes pokes out twitching as she looks at him and he held out the mask. She snatches it and scurries away before snapping it back on shaking as she stands up taking another step away.

Yuri stands up and gives her space choosing to stretch out his sores. Everything about her body screams of fear as she watches him. “And here I thought Zaphias’s beacon was just some big rock. No wonder Flynn made me promise to do everything to keep you alive.”

“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to trick you...”

“I get it,” He says trying to shake out the water and sand from his hair. “Even if you trust Flynn you have no way of knowing if I’d sell you out or use try to abuse your power. Not that I have any idea how it works.” Yuri’s fingers get caught on a thick knot and he starts to weave it out, “I bet you also can’t say some stuff, right? Do I get the gist?”

She nods hesitantly and takes a step forward and then another. “I… yes. I… I am the beacon of Zaphias. I’m sorry!” Estelle bows, “I am the reason the city fell. I was too weak to hold the barrier and because of that… because my prayers weren’t strong enough… Because I-“

“Hey, why don’t we sit down and start from the beginning.” Yuri sits down and pats the sand next to him and hesitantly she joins though still a distance with an awkward silence looming over them. “You being a doll explains a lot.”

“Can you not call me that.” Estelle muttered, “I know I’m not human but calling me a doll makes me feel like a monster.”

He nods, “Then I won’t. You’re just as human as anyone else from here on out.”

“Thank you.” Estelle brings her knees up and rests her head on them. “But it’s true. I am technically a doll and the beacon of the Zaphias. I also didn’t lie as far as I know I’ve only ever lived in the Sword Staircase doing my ritual and creating the field that keeps out monsters.”

“Until they started changing things?”

“I- my barrier only works when I’m asleep so it’s important that I stay unconscious in most cases and that’s how it was for a long time. They never woke me up unless they wanted my powers or for me to translate inscriptions.”

“I can’t say why they changed it but they started waking me up more frequently and telling me to occupy myself instead of sleeping. They told me to change my spells and prayers from the ones inscribed and the more I did the more powerful I was while awake but my barrier began to weaken and by then I overheard plans to remove my heart and transfer it.”

“So I begged Flynn to help me,” Her voice turns to sobs and she’s shaking and he can’t believe he completely missed the way she rattles like plates scraping against another, “And I can’t apologize enough for it but I can’t make a barrier anymore. Not enough to cover a city or a ship not after all the experiments. He said we we’re going to find someone to fix my body and that night- I knew it was coming. I knew it was going to fall so I told Flynn and I ran away instead of trying to hold what was left together.”

She’s on her knees begging him, “It’s my fault. I failed my purpose! I’m supposed to protect humans and I failed you and the people of that ship- all of Zaphias. It’s all gone! I can’t say it enough but I’m sorry! Please forgive me.”

Yuri’s awful at comforting but his gut says to hug her but his own emotions leave him hesitantly setting his hand on her shoulder. He’s not even sure what to think or feel about this whole thing. This girl- machine really- is why his home is gone and everything and one is dead or will be. Why Flynn is either dead or will be. Why the city started to become blighted and monsters started leaking in.

There’s so much that happened in just the past week alone because of her. He wants to be angry and yell at her for this but also if what she’s saying is true than the Clergy was also at fault. Her guilt seems sincere and he understood the will to live but also-

His home went up in flames and to a deeper ring of this inferno he’s been living in. But, she’s one of the Heurassein dolls. _The_ Heurassein Dolls. If that’s true and if her power was messed with then Flynn- shit why doesn’t he know things? Why does Yuri always seem to be lacking when it’s important like this? He should know where they wanted to go and what to do.

A working Doll meant people could make a barrier that could keep people safe like they are in Halure. He doesn’t know the whole story but Ma would tell them about it all the time.

That when the swamp was young and small a divine smith crafted them and placed them in temples to be worshiped each bringing with them a blessing that kept the desert swamp quiet. It would not spread and the monsters were dumb things that lumbered like livestock. But, people became curious and started to take the dolls apart to see what made them function and so they went into hiding. Any that were found were said to have been broken and made into parts that cities used to make new barriers and weapons.

Magic tech was remnants of a world they lost touch with and could not be reproduced but by far the thing people wanted more than anything was a chance to study the Dolls. Zaphias had one of these relics and a mad man got in his head to break the only thing keeping them alive from the sounds of it.

If he was in Flynn’s position, he’d have stolen her away to get help too.

She’s a key to living through this hell. What is he even supposed to think and feel? Relived? Happy? Enraged? Scared? What is he supposed to feel? What? He’s with a Doll trapped on a sandbar after everything he knew and loved was wiped out and he’s supposed to feel something.

Is overwhelmed an emotion? Does this count?

Because he’s pretty fucking overwhelmed right now and he can’t quite say what the fuck else.

“What did you plan to do once you ran? All of it?”

Estelle’s head lifts ever so slightly, “I want to be fixed. More than anything I need to have my barrier restored to me. I love humans and I want you to be able to live in this world so I wanted you to take me to somewhere where I could be repaired and then I could make a new place for people to live. We were going to make something new away from the Clergy where I could help people again.”

“Please will you help me? I know I have no right to ask this but it’s all I want to do.”

… “So, you have any idea where it is you think we should try to go? Besides off this sandbar.”

There’s a very loud silence of her frantically thinking. “I actually have no idea. Flynn only mentioned finding Mordio but I’m not sure if it’s a person or a place.”

Great. Just great. Trapped on a sandbar in the middle of nowhere wondering how the hell they’re gonna get out of here. Yuri sighed as he pulled off his boots letting the dirt and water leak out.

His stomach growls and Yuri wishes he’d actually eaten dinner.

* * *

There’s a good thing about crashing on a sandbar. Sandbars don’t form out in open water in the middle of nowhere. It’s too deep for ground to build up which meant there was land nearby, just… not in their visual. So it came down to figuring out which way to go; seeing if they could tread water long enough. Yuri didn’t care where the fuck it was; he just needed them to get there before he died of thirst.

His mouth is so dry.

Surrounded by fucking water, and he’s gonna die of _thirst_. Or he’ll get eaten; one of the two. He’s looking at that bracelet again, wondering if there is any way out of this. He presses the buttons on the radio one more time. Please just give him static.

Nothing. He expected nothing. Makes sense it’s nothing. It was always going to be nothing.

This would be so much easier if Estelle could swim. She’s not buoyant enough to really go anywhere long distance and her response to what she thinks they should do is to say “I could pray for good fortune.”

And Yuri can’t tell if she genuinely thinks that will work or if it’s part of her being a Doll. He gets that she’s a magic tech machine with superpowers and all that but he doesn’t think that what she does is pray and get gods to answer. Magic is different and her using it to keep them from drowning is one thing or foreseeing an accident. Magic gets results and that’s the part of the stupid hocus pocus Clergy bullshit he believes in. “I don’t think a prayer is gonna spontaneously get us off a sandbar without a little bit of drowning involved. And, in case you didn’t notice one of us, won’t say who, requires oxygen and water that isn’t mostly salt or mud to live.”

“It wouldn’t hurt you to just consider it.” Estelle huffs. “You won’t lose anything in just making the attempt.”

“So you don’t even know if they’re real?” Yuri raises a brow and Estelle freezes but less like she’s been caught but more like she’s slightly offended.

“I have never seen a person who fate has given so much who believes in it so little!”

She crossed her arms and Yuri wishes she would take off that mask again because he’s certain that whatever scowl she’s wearing is hilarious. “So are they real or not?”

“I-I- you- it- I don’t know either, okay! I just know what works and that you have clearly dodged death at every turn and refuse to believe that nothing divine protected you.”

“I am not special. People survive at random here all the time. If anything it’s probably just because you are here using your magic.”

A sigh. “If that’s what you choose to believe.”

They’ve got to get off this sandbar. It’s only been a half a day but soon dehydration is gonna sink in and they won’t be able to do anything. “Fine. Watch this.” He stood up and stretched out, “Hey! Gods- Undine- Leviathan- or whatever send us a fucking boat please death is very unpleasant and I would rather not. Amen. How was that? Not half bad.”

He can hear every bit of Estelle's soul screaming inside as he plops back down with a shit-eating grin. “No wonder you and Flynn get along so well.” He laughs and it feels good to let out after so long. He feels lighter less like he’s being crushed by everything.

Then it all crashes back in again. Reality bites with such a sting and the sky is so empty. They can’t do anything once it gets dark so they’re forced to wait and plot.

His mouth is dry and the radio is silent.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoop. I my arm pain I forgot to update this.

Yuri woke up twice.

The first was when something loud crashed next to them and a heavy object smacked against his skull.

The second was when he felt a buck of water splash against his face and found himself tied in the dark hull of a ship with a small circle of people staring at him. He tries to move but he’s tied against… probably a post?

Estelle? Where the fuck is Estelle?

There’s no light aside from a lamp illuminating the silhouette of four people. Yuri’s eyes dash around trying to get any hints but he just sees them and some crates and a small table. He holds himself straight and rigid waiting for them to move.

Okay, going over the possibilities a ship must have spotted them obviously but are they going to sell their body parts or just slave labor? Or is it the rare kindness that doesn’t actually happen but people pretend like its true? What’s their game?

The tall and slenderest one gets closer and Yuri makes out once she’s kneeling down next to him that it’s a Krytian woman. A beautiful Krytian with deep indigo hair tied in a bun full of intricate knots and braids colorful pins and clips in a variety of colors holding it all together. The pointed ears and scaly skin around her face and eyes. Her smile is hard to make out, but if she’s like other Krytia then those teeth will be pointed and sharp.

Hanks said once when he watched a friend turn Kryt the man’s entire mouth fell out only to regrow over a week. The thought alone made his gums ache.

“Glad to see you’re finally awake, sweetie. Thought we conked you out a bit too hard back there.”

“So what kind of scum are you?” Yuri spits staring her down. Krytian eyes are unnerving they have split pupils that always seem to dance around the eyes in unnatural motions. They’ll come back together only to split again but now in fours or threes or random patterns.

“The kind that’s cautious,” she laughs tugging at a strand of his hair twirling it. “Normally you see folks crashed on the shore they either got lucky or were thrown overboard. So which were you?”

Yuri looked past her and over at the others trying to gauge their attitude. Are they really cautious or waiting for their opening?

“Depends who’s asking.”

There’s a click of a knife sliding loose tapping it lightly against his shoulder. “Maybe consider your situation a bit more. You’re not holding any cards here. We already got your friend tied up in another room and she’s very fascinating.”

“Don’t you fucking dare-“ the knife presses to his neck a drop of blood rolling down.

Her pointed teeth smile at him and Yuri thinks he sees a second set alongside the first, “Now, now, I would never let my crew harm a lady. But, you, on the other hand, aren’t nearly as interesting. So,” she presses harder, “what is your game?”

What to do? What to fucking do?

He can’t help but think they will kill him no matter what he does and if they have Estelle they’ll likely sell her. He’s got to get out of this. They've got to get out of this! So where is his out? “I’m asking, what you were doing out there with that Doll and is she genuine? You had a radio from the Knight’s so are you a Clergy Boy?”

“So what if I might be?”

“Clergy folk don’t tend to take too kindly to people of our persuasion.”

“Because you’re pirates?”

The knife pulls away and she seems on the brink of laughing or blanching, “I was going to say because we’re Krytia but thank you for not jumping straight to racial profiling.”

“Hey, you gotta be open. I think you’re creepy as fuck but I’m going to assume you are a criminal first mostly because I am tied up.” Yuri shrugs.

“We aren’t pirates we’re freelance privateers,” One of the people on the edge of the circle states in a rather young and squeaky voice.

“That’s still just a pirate.”

“It’s better branding.” The one next to him says. “So, with that in mind want to tell us what you were doing out there in the middle of nowhere? Or do you need to be left alone in the dark for a few hours while we interview your Doll.”

Fuck his luck. “I’m a refugee from Zaphias. The Doll and I were the only ones who survived a boating accident during the escape. That’s all.”

Her eyes seem to light up. “Zaphias. So that makes her…,” She pulled up his pendant and gave a wry smile, “Well, you are certainly a lucky man.” She stands up and walks away, “Untie him and escort him to my quarters.”

“Yes, captain.” The same voice squeaks from before running behind him and going to the ropes. He’s surprised when he realizes that this person is either a very petite woman or a literal human child with blonde braids equally full of the pins and decorations as the Captain. “Get a movin’.” He follows as they pull him along cautiously as they bring him through halls lined in mirrors that he swears he can see things flickering around in them that aren’t in front of him till they climb into the Captain’s quarters.

The kid kicks him to the floor, “Wait here if yer smart. Captain will see ya when she’s ready.” The red wooden door slams shut and he’s left there in a room that looks half office and half bedroom. The plush silks and colorful decorations are very rich and mundane compared to what he’d figure. Bookshelves, curios, a closet full of fairly fancy clothes, and locked chests and drawers.

Nothing interesting till he pulls aside a curtain and jumps back.

Holy fucking- fucking- fuck!

Once he has a second to look he sees it’s all just a disturbingly fleshy altar. A monster head sitting atop layers of candles and skulls with runes carved into everything. A coating of ash from incense covers everything and on closer inspection there even seems to be a chimney attached to the wall. He overreacted a bit, but frankly, can you blame him? The head is sitting there with its large gills and hairy eyes, tongue lolling out onto the floor. It’s so fresh he wouldn’t be surprised to see it move.

He pulls the midnight curtains back and goes to the window looking out on the ocean. Endless as always. Fuck. He doesn’t have anything but his marks and clothes on him and the room while it has a weapons rack, he suspects whoever’s in charge doesn’t suspect him to be dumb enough to try to use them on her.

Trapped on a pirate ship run by a crazy Krytian, great. They’re calling him lucky, but this seems anything but. Slouching in the desk chair he waits. He taps his fingers against the desk and waits. And waits. And waits.

_And waits. Waits and tries to be as silent as possible but his body is shaking, and he wants to cry. To scream!_

_Just wait and be quiet. It will pass and then he can run again. He just has to keep running. Just keep running till he makes it back. His hands hurt from clutching his sword for so long. He wants to let go and let them relax. Stop the cramping and the shaking but there’s a bigger fear he won’t be able to pick it back up._

_He’s got to wait even though the waiting is making him feel the exhaustion._

_Even though he’s hyperventilating as panic sets in. What if it doesn’t leave? He hears it creeping around just on the other side as he tries to bury himself further into the roots of the groves._

_Closer._

_Closer._

_Closer_

The door opened with a slam! The Krytian woman from below, walking in all her glory with Estelle in tow and a smile that spoke of a childish glee like she got a new toy. Estelle’s mask is missing, and he can see her nervousness plain as day as she runs up to his side giving him a small hug.

The Captain locks behind her and looks between the two of them, “Oh, where are my manners! Drinks, I’m sure you’d love some water.” She opens up a cabinet stocked with bottles and various little boxes he recognizes purifiers and flavorings. She pulls out three glasses and pours with a happy hum. “We have a water filtration system on board, so you don’t have to worry about getting sick.”

She sets it in front of him with a smack on the wood. He doesn’t take it. She shrugs and adds a flavor packet dying her glass red. “If you’re worried, I have plenty of packs you can use. Dehydration is rather unpleasant.”

Yuri tears one open with his teeth and gives it a stir. Estelle holding out a hand, “If you want, I can test it.” He gives her the glass and she takes the smallest of sips handing it back with a nod. Her eyes blinking random assortments of colors. “It’s safe.”

Cute?

There’s still caution when he swallows no matter how much of a huge relief it feels going down. God, that was so needed!

“I believe proper introductions are in order.” The Captain goes over to the altar reaching for a small metal tin throwing white powder over the severed head. A match is struck and in a flurry, the head is consumed by green flames leaving nothing but ash smoke rising up the chimney. Oh… wait! Yuri’s heard of those. They’re a temporary barrier maker that masks buildings or ships through burning corpses of monsters

Well, that is far more assuring than a creepy cult item. She turns back around to them her mouth wide open and there are not two but three sets of teeth he can see in her mouth. “I’ll go first, my name is Judith the Captain of the Atherum which you are now on. Now, you.”

They hesitantly introduce themselves as Judith pulls out a tin of cookies and takes one out tossing it whole in her mouth. If you have that many teeth really why bother with chewing. He takes one himself because by fuck is he hungry!

“Look, you seem less crazy than I figured but what’s your angle?” Yuri keeps himself as a barrier between her and Estelle who’s fidgeting nervously.

“My angle is that you have the Heurassein Doll and I want her on my ship.”

Estelle and Yuri look between each other with obvious suspicion. “Why?”

Judith swallows another cookie tasting crumbs off her fingers. “Why not? A Heurassein Doll- a genuine one- could keep my ship afloat far better than an ash barrier ever could. Not to mention the secrets she holds if properly studied.”

Estelle clutches his hand in a vice grip. “Oh, not anything invasive. You’re too valuable of a resource for me to ever consider such a thing. It does beg the question though, if Zaphias had a Doll how in the world how in the world did it fall. Please take a seat, I’m sure this will end up being a long conversation and I prefer you get comfy.”

“Please, Yuri if you would start this from the beginning.”

* * *

Yuri tries to leave details out. Leave one ounce of information hidden in his hand but it’s hard with how little he had in the first place. He wants to dance around Estelle being broken but it’s too crucial a piece for Judith not keep prodding at till it’s revealed. She listens patiently and Yuri wonders if that grin on her face is just how it rests because it never falters. Her legs crossed as she takes languid sips out her glass.

“Hmm, the Entelexeia are on the move again.” Judith hums.

“The Entelexeia?” Estelle says.

“The cultist group that likely took down the tower.” She stretches in her chair before getting up, “You mentioned monsters not native to the region as well as the instantaneous appearance. That’s a strategy often used by the group when they raid cities and towns.” She digs through her desk drawers before pulling out a small leather-bound book that is fraying and yellowed. “They are… a rather extreme group of Krytia that- let’s say, they feel they’re more _evolved_.”

“I’ve never heard of them before,” Yuri tried to keep up to date on things like that since it never hurt to know what extremist crazy whack jobs were out there wreaking havoc. He can safely say he’s never heard of any group that could summon a heard of monsters into a town.

Judith flips through the pages, “You shouldn’t have. The Entelexeia normally strike closer to the Union territories in the Northwest. This is very far south for them to be working.” She looks to Estelle, “But... I could see why they’d come for Zaphias with her there.”

“What exactly is this group doing?” Estelle asks.

Judith stops a moment and then turns the pages again, “Have you noticed that more people these days turn Kryt? That more cities seem to disappear in the night than before? That even basic livestock have started mutating? The swamp is growing.”

Yuri thinks back on a cow that they killed a few weeks back in Zaphias the moment the milk it gave came out green and smelling like acid. The cow was perfectly normal and then it popped out a third eye out of nowhere, so they had to get rid of it.

Blighting. Blighting everywhere.

“The Entelexeia believe in spreading blight. That the state of the swamp is inevitable and humans just haven’t realized it. So to kill Estelle- well, morbid as it is to say it would justify destroying an entire city in their eyes.” She stops and taps at her lips with incredibly long and sharp fingernails. “Hmm, actually that means you might be more of a liability than a benefit for my crew. Being a target for the Entelexeia is the last thing a group such as ourselves needs.”

Fuck. Well, fuck. A crazy cult trying to expand the swamp is honestly not too novel an idea to him. There are inevitably at least ten crazies out to do that sort of thing. No, what matters more and has him on edge is the notion that there is a bunch of whack jobs who can summon monster who are going to come after Estelle and him by proxy. Suddenly, the idea of making something new with her seems even more farfetched and hopeless than it was before. Also just downright stupidly risky on his life.

Especially because now he’s wondering if Judith is gonna throw them to the wolves. He would if he was in her position.

“Then... then you should be trying to help us!” Estelle states, “If having me is dangerous for you then wouldn’t it be best to help us? I may not be able to make a proper barrier at the moment but I can still help protect you. So, let us work for you in exchange for helping to fix me. It’s mutually beneficial!”

Judith leaves the book aside, “You would have me risk my crew and myself for you? That’s a rather selfish request Princess and I’m afraid some mere protection is not worth the price.”

Estelle droops a bit, “But... but, even if you are pirates-”

“Freelance privateers.”

“Even if you are privateers then surely you think that there’s something wrong with letting a group like that run around hurting people? If I were to be fixed then maybe we could team up together to help people. We could even stop these Entelexeia Cultists and make things better for everyone.”

There’s a lot of optimism in her voice that Yuri wants to laugh at because if there’s one reality that settles in is that people look after their own first around here. It’s not pessimism it’s just the way it is and cruelly people are always trying to harvest organs or get money to feed themselves. Someone is scheming. Inhuman creatures are out to eat their flesh and souls.

And otters are assholes.

All of these are truths but he understands that to her there’s a hope that Judith will want to make the choice to help for more than just her. He’d like to think that too but old wisdom prevails, “No. I think not.”

“But what about-”

Her hand slams her glass on the desk and a chill runs down his spine, “You seem not to understand the position you’re in here.” She leans forward and yanks Yuri’s head down onto the desk. “The Atherum and her crew do not follow the orders of a straggler and a Doll. You’re alive because you have value but him,” Her claws press into his skull, “He’s mostly disposable.”

“Don’t hurt him!”

“Then behave. Fixing you I am willing to do, but we’re not heroes on this ship. We are simply trying to survive so stop your daydreaming of us being a band of vigilantes.” She loosens, “I’m not trying to sound mean. You have noble goals, but we don’t have that luxury here. We are just pirates trying to make a living. You have two choices join my crew by choice or by force.”

Yuri’s eyes narrow, “Are those really any different?”

“No.”

Estelle swallows and droops, “...I understand... You promise to try and fix me?”

“You’re more valuable to me fixed then broken.”

“And, Yuri will be safe?”

“As long as he behaves, I see no reason to harm him.” Her hand lets go and Yuri straitens up as fast as possible and gets distance or a much as he can while still sitting in a chair. “He’ll simply be another member of my crew. I know we’re getting off on the wrong foot here, but I do have a ship to think about so let’s start, again shall we?”

“My name is Judith and I am the Captain of the Atherum. Welcome aboard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I showed this fic to my folks and all they had to say was the grammar is bad and Yuri swears a lot and considering the depression level it was great confidence boost (sarcasm)


	5. Chapter 5

Yuri’s told he’ll be bunking below with the other crew members while Estelle a more delicate sort gets privacy. “Most of the crew thinks you’re still a priestess and it’s best that way. While I trust everyone, some are not as… tight-lipped as the rest.”

He gets his stuff back and by that, he means the broken radio and his pocketknife. Yuri doesn’t have much else to his name. For a large ship, it’s a tiny crew maybe ten in total most of which are other Krytians that he can’t bother to remember the names of but there are also a few humans that make him curious. Mostly the girl who escorted him up, Patty the first mate, and a young boy who seems completely human if not for the fact that his strength is unnatural.

When he asked about them Judith admitted that Karol is the real captain despite being just the quartermaster since this was his idea back when they struggled in the cities; Judith admitted that her being captain was mostly to make sure everyone on board took his orders seriously. They found the Atherum floating aimlessly on the water and took it for themselves which is why it was also haunted. Apparently, if you set enough ground rules with the spirits nothing ever happens that isn’t just a minor inconvenience.

As for Patty, she came with the ship. Both figuratively and literally. They found her roaming around the boat and apparently had been there for as long as she could remember and never left even when they docked. She knew so much about running the ship calling her first mate just seemed natural after a time and it stuck. When he asked if she was a ghost Judith was certain that she was sure Patty was human as the rest of them. Just too paranoid to leave the boat she called home.

Yuri can’t say he blames her.

When he sits down to eat in the mess hall Estelle has her mask in place sitting next to him shyly twiddling her thumbs; Patty is studying him like he’s novelty monster and not just a person. Karol, on the other hand, is trying to engage him.

“I know we seem bad but I think you guys will like it once you get to know everyone!” It’s sweet but Yuri’s not letting his guard down anytime soon. No. He won’t trust yet.

Before bed, though he does pull Judith aside to ask something, “Hey… these cultists… when they attack a city do- do any of the people- do they… survive?”

Judith’s eyes droop and that smirk that seems permanently stuck to her lips falls entirely, “You are the first person I have ever seen to come out of one of their attacks alive and whole.” Her pupils, all three of them, drift down to Flynn’s mark and her hands stop short of reaching for it, “Yuri Lowell, someone loved you a lot to see you make it out of Zaphias that night.”

Yuri turned his face from hers and covered the bracelet behind his back.

“It wasn’t like I was the only survivor.”

“You are the first _person_ I have ever seen or even heard of surviving.”

The words sit in a way that makes his skin crawl as he recalls the boats going up in fire and flames all around them. That knowledge there was something wrong with the way that algae was just on the boat. The eerie silence of the radio despite the knowledge that Flynn seemed to know what would happen. “Just tell me if any of them would survive?”

She shakes her head, “Yuri, whoever gave you that is dead and if they aren’t, you’re better off thinking that.” 

He has so many questions to ask her but none of them seem to leave his tongue. So he’s left to sleep that night thinking about what could be the state Flynn is in now if not dead. There are a million different possibilities, but his mind keeps going back to the howling of Norien from that dark windowless room that Flynn told him about. He thinks of all the ways he could still be alive after everything and the more he thinks the more he fears the image of a Flynn so deformed and broken that he might as well be dead.

It would be kinder if he was.

But, then he stops and pulls the radio out and he wishes something- anything- a miracle would come on and he’d hear Flynn’s voice apologizing for being so late. Yuri’s fingers trace over the bracelet but then he stops and thinks about how Judith had only let him go once she saw his amulet. A curiosity travels through him as he pulls it up to look closer at it.

It’s not an especially ornate design by any stretch of the imagination. No, it’s incredibly plain made of some shiny blackish-green stone carved in a circular ring with another connected by some joints. There are no runes but there’s a gemstone in the center that he’s certain is everyday quartz. It’s about as dull as you can get for a mark. No runes or motifs. Just one clear quartz crystal that back in its day must have been clear but now its surface is somewhat scratched and scuffed to the point of being clouded. He blames himself a little since he seemed to always bang it against things.

Yuri really can’t wrap his head around why anyone would care about it.

He was going to protect her and get them off this ship so they could do good. Yuri wanted that spark of hope that Estelle was offering just by existing. The idea that there was a way for humans to make this hell better.

If he has to play to the ship’s tune- _If he has to hold his breath and keep quiet_

_He will._

_He’s not going to die here. He’ll make it back to where he’s supposed to be. Even if it means he has to hide and hold his breath till his lungs start to burn. If it means tasting iron and dirt because there’s nothing else he will._

_If it means becoming a monster long enough to make it out alive._

_If it means his fingers bleed and run red along the trunks as he claws his way to safety on cracked nails._

_Even if he has to kill someone dear to him._

_Even if he has to listen to the words whispered in the trees so close, they lick the shell of his ear with tongues of shadow and peat moss._

_“What price are you willing to pay to live?”_

* * *

Days on the ship were for the most part repetitive.

Yuri would work around the ship, hang out with Karol where he mostly did his best to seem amused and like he was fully enjoying himself with him. There was a reluctance to admit that he did like Karol’s company because getting attached was dangerous and something he could not allow.

They weren’t there to stay even if Karol and Patty were wonderful company. Even if Estelle did always seem happy to be around them. They were still hostages at the end of the day no matter how peaceful the waves were as they rocked along the ocean waters.

Judith didn’t have any idea where to find Mordio, whatever it turned out to be, but she’d look so they were to keep still and quiet. Live like secrets was the way it was worded, and Yuri thought it was a bit of a grandeur metaphor for ‘lay low for fuck’s sake’. They would keep low and do as they were told for now because they had to. That was just the way it had to be till they found their solution.

So he waited. He waited and the days on the ship were calm. They stayed calm at least until they would stop to refill the ash barrier that guarded them. Judith pulling everyone on board to take up spears, harpoons, and anything sharp to strike down a monster from deeper waters as blood was thrown over the edge. Yuri didn’t ask where the blood came from or why they had so much on hand. Some questions were too dangerous to make an effort of answering.

But, the briny air as it got hotter and dryer smelled less like the musk he knew from Zaphias and more like the grainy acidity of sand and salt as they moved towards the dessert lands proper to land and gather intel from the locals. The red stain of the water would quickly pull up various mermen and large serpents or the occasional Kraken that they’d strike over and over till its body stopped moving and they’d chop it on board and store away for later.

Ash barriers took a lot of flesh to keep in operation. Lots and lots of smelly flesh.

Yuri found the fights themselves fun while still being dangerous as fuck but actually getting to see Estelle use magic made it very fun. There were still mages in this day and age you just needed to know how to actually use magic tech properly and have a device so nobody said anything other than her skill was impressive.

The loud whistle he’d let out when a spear of light skewered the Kraken in half was very loud and he was glad to be on her side.

Those moments were interesting but most days passed by mundanely outside of the ways the crew made attempts to befriend him. Well, the human members at least. The Kryts kept to themselves and spoke little to none if they could help it and Judith would laugh it off and say they were just like that.

“I trust them but if I don’t expect them not to gossip so be extra careful around them.”

Interesting that so many of the crew were if she didn’t expect them not to squeal but then he doesn’t know if the friendliness they’re putting out for him is actually typical or a charade. They’re nice. He doesn’t like that they’re nice because when they betray them it will make things harder.

But the days passed on over open ocean. Days and the radio stays silent. It’s always silent.

He clicks the buttons in his hand as they sit around relaxing. Karol looking at it curiously, “If it’s not too busted I might be able to fix it.”

“You’d do that?” Estelle says eagerly, “Yuri if it’s fixed we might get a message from Flynn.”

There’s no use getting up hope over this. Yuri huffs in frustration but ultimately hands it over, “I want it back if you can’t. It’s mine. Got it.”

Karol nods, “Hey, don’t worry. Everyone onboard has their own little keepsakes and mementos.” Karol pats at a small metal wristwatch face that hangs off his slacks.

“How did you end up becoming pirates?” Estelle asks.

“Freelance privateers!” Patty scoffed and turning up her nose. For whatever reason, she’s not for being called a pirate basically ever.

Karol leans forward and age sets in his eyes that removes the obvious youth from his face, “I grew up in Danghrest, ya see. It’s a giant dam surrounded by groves and wetlands, so we often get monster attacks from things in the forest. My parents were originally part of the defense team but then my mom got sick and my dad lost both his legs in an attack.”

“I was too young to join the force, so I helped in the port till finally, he died from infection.”

Karol smiles sadly laughing at the gasp Estelle lets out. “It’s alright. It was a long time ago. I was living on the street when Judith found me or- well, no, we found each other. She was injured and had scars everywhere. Not to mention her one of her eyes was damaged but Kryts recover from that. She said her job was monster hunting among other things and it got out of hand. Danghrest isn’t exactly Kryt friendly so she couldn’t find an inn, so I helped get her a room and she treated me to dinner.”

“After that Judith just had a habit of blowing in out of nowhere covered in blood and beat to hell and back. I ended up telling her about how I wanted to be a captain and next thing I know she comes in one day with the Atherum and tells me we’re setting sail. Been sailing ever since.”

“She went out and found a ship for you. Judith’s so kind.”

“No. That’s creepy.” Yuri says, “How did she even find this ship? She said it was just floating on the water.”

Karol scratched under his nose, “Um… I think she said her friend Ba’ul found it for her.”

“Ba’ul?” Estelle cocks her head to the side. “Who’s that?”

“I’ve never met them but she says he’s a friend.”

Yuri cocks a brow, “But they’re not a part of the crew?”

“I think she said it’s because he runs an apothecary or something like that.”

But that still doesn’t explain why he’d been able to find a ship like this. Boats like the Atherum don’t sit unused unless nobody has been able to find them. It’s too valuable a resource. It’s suspicious. Judith’s suspicious. All of this is just… “I’ve changed my mind. Give me the radio back.”

“You sure?” Karol holds it out.

“Yeah. I’m sure.” He’d rather believe that Flynn was dead to kill false hope. That this ship was suspicious along with its crew. That everyone here was up to something.

He stalked back to hide away in his cabin and the radio stayed silent.

Time will pass and the radio will be silent. They’ll scavenge shipwrecks as they travel further and it will be silent. It is silent and that’s how it will stay as Yuri clicks the buttons habitually at night. It’s all quite because Flynn is dead.

His best friend is dead and he needs to get used to that.

But then Estelle will open her mouth and reminisce, and Yuri is left tasting bile is his mouth as he thinks of all the little words he’s not going to get to say. Of the home he’s never going back to. Of the people he’ll never see again because everything he loves and knows is gone except for a broken radio and a pocketknife. He’s not sure how to grieve this loss.

It’s all gone. All of it from the people to the houses. To the streets he walked at night to the eerie moaning of loose roof tile blowing in the wind. He hasn’t felt that damp muggy air or tasted Susanne’s fish stew. There’s no Sword Stair or Knights passing in the street pissing him off when they get too uppity and pigheaded.

There’s nothing but a dead radio. Flynn is such a dick. He didn’t even let him get to say goodbye.

Estelle smiles at him lovingly, “Would it feel better if we talked about something else instead?”

“No. I want to hear it all. It’s fun listening to you rant about all the fun you two had.” Tell him what he missed by not staying with the Knights. Tell him that Flynn was happy.

It’s not okay. But he’ll survive.

_He’ll survive because it’s what they do. Rat from the gutter; orphan with no home crawl on your knees till you reach salvation. Chew through steel and cut gums on granite if it means survival. That’s what he was taught and that’s what he’ll do._

_It’s dark but he’ll go blind if he has to but he’s making it home. Home. Tears are spilling down his cheeks._

_He can’t feel his arm and his breath shakes from the pursuer in the grove. He has to get home to the people waiting for him. To the people who care about him._

_Her blood. Her blood is all over him. “I’m going to make it, right?” Who is he even asking at this point? That dread crawls down his spine as he hides again in fear. Those words of that thing of smoke and hell as the organs splashed down on the ground._

_You killed her._

_“Was it really worth saving this tiny thing?”_

_I killed her._

_I hurt her._

_I ran._

_I couldn’t do anything._

_I ran._

_I ran because I was afraid._

_I ran because I’m weak._

_I ran because I’m human._

_I’m human and flawed._

_I’m flawed_

_I want to survive._

**_I_ ** _w **A** n **TE** d **HE** r to su **R** vive_

**_I_ ** _**P** r **AYED**_

**_W_ ** _hy w **AS** n’t **IT** **enough**? _

**_Your blood was so red_ **

_Can you **FORG** Ive m **E** for **T** his?_

_“I’m a monster.”_

* * *

They were nearly a month out at sea by the time they dock in the nearest city. It’s a cliffside port where they live in caves and grottos known as Aspio. Yuri’s heard of it obviously.

A city of scavenging and scholar. People scurried like rats through caves tearing through old magic tech and remaking it into weapons or barriers. Really anything they got their hands on was retooled into something new from the carcass. Old engines became low-grade fire spell generators and rusted gears sawed down into needles and bolts. Hinges from houses and doors remade into new machine parts. Old wires now running electricity shakily through water buckets and cable lines. A city made of scraps lining the front to hide what the grotto held inside of canals and winding caves. If anyone had information on this ‘Mordio’ it would indeed be Aspio.

“I have informants there who can see about digging that up. From what I understand your friend wasn’t anyone all that special in the Clergy so it shouldn’t be too difficult to look into if it’s related to them.”

Don’t make Flynn out to be a nobody. The guy was respected and while he might not have had any major position he’d been in line for a promotion and to really reach through the bureaucracy for something better and new. He’d really wanted to believe that Flynn was going to change things.

“ _We were going to do this together, Yuri! You were the one who said we should fix it all ourselves if we had to. And you just quit?”_

They were what- fourteen? Yeah, something like that when he came back to the small room they called home and tossed the letter of resignation on the table and finally said he was leaving. Really, it wasn’t like they both didn’t see it coming. Yuri had long since stopped showing up to training most days or paying attention. He wasn’t running.

Flynn kept saying he ran away from it all but that’s not true. Right?

He didn’t see the shit Yuri saw. He didn’t get the side-eyes from the Knights during training and the remarks about how his mom was ‘practically a Kryt’. He didn’t get stuck doing so much pointless stupid shit and realize that bureaucracy was gonna keep him down for life. For fuck’s sake, there was nothing wrong with deciding he was better suited working in the Lower Quarter away from all that.

He hated the Sword Stair and the way the hallways always echoed with dissonant whispers; how it always felt like people were judging him and were ready to throw him to the wolves. Those high mortality rates or the way rich bastards never needed to show any skill for their promotion.

In the end…

_… “All the runes and temples say the same thing,” Ma stroked through the old leather tomb she pulled through the archive shelves. That smell of old vellum and mold that lingered in the air as she looked at him._

_Everyone always said they looked alike. Same dark hair. Same grey eyes._

_“What’s that?” Yuri wasn’t paying attention. No, he was idly rolling a pencil across a table bored and wondering why he couldn’t do anything fun. Ma seemed convinced he’d do great at since his mind was ‘so sharp’ but even as a kid Yuri didn’t buy that. It was probably because she thought that would be safer._

_He’d be safer._

_Ma shut the book and smiled the way she did when she didn’t want to tell him things. “Oh, I was caught up talking to myself.” The same smile she wore when she said Dad went on a trade expedition to Halure and would be sending them letters._

_Bullshit. He’d been four and he’d still smelled all the crap she was trying to sell and just asked flat out if Dad was dead. Kneeling beside him she grabbed the pencil and a piece of paper, “Yuri, do you know the basic runes?”_

_“Does it matter? I’m not gonna be a researcher, Ma. I want to be out there fighting monsters.”_

_Her hands elegantly started writing out the runic alphabet, “You should at least learn how to read.”_

_“I can read,” Yuri wasn’t stupid. He could read and write as well as Flynn and Hanks said he was even better than him. And Hanks was super smart!_

_“Not runes. I want you to know this. It’s important if you want to go into ruins,” All he’d done was roll her eyes like a brat when she’d said that. Ma was devoted to a fault, but this was the one good piece of advice she’d ever tried to give him, and he turned up his nose the whole time calling it a waste._

_Yuri doesn’t believe in the whole mega spirituality gods are real element, but he does understand there is a language to magic. A logic if you look. He does believe that runes are more or less just a weird form of writing and he’d seen enough around town to know his Ma wrote it all different._

_Hell, he’s pretty sure she taught it all wrong._

Because in the end if you went by her translation all runes ended in the same thing. That the swamp would swallow all.

Which is just kinda stupid from a linguistic angle.

But that didn’t matter. What mattered was finding someone in Aspio.

**Author's Note:**

> feed me your comments and kudos  
> feel free to follow me on tumblr at  
> I mostly talk tales of games and do art  
> @felinisfeloney


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